liamnpayne:

when people correct ur grammar on the internet 

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deathbeforedigital:

Sing it Dolly
illkim:

I think Apple’s telling me to bottom more often
fussybabybitch:

Anyway in my expeditions tonight I’ve discovered the XTube Channel of StuntTiger, a dude who seemingly exclusively makes videos of himself falling into, what are these, stunt cushions? And then masturbating, in various fursuits. What an amazingly expensive, specific fetish. A hobby? I’m fascinated by this idea that he owns all this equipment for purely erotic purposes, that he doesn’t have any larger interest in stunts beyond it. Or is it more interesting to consider that in his “worksafe” life, he is a stuntman, and that at some point his occupation became his sexuality? Maybe it drove him into this field of work in the first place. I don’t know and I don’t really want to at this point, because there’s so much more to be said in the margins of inscrutability than whatever the plain truth is.
A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife then called the police, and the police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis: the wife claims she was asleep, the cook was cooking breakfast, the gardener was picking vegetables, the maid was getting the mail and the butler was cleaning the closet. The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it?

repelo-muggletum:

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rainbowbarnacle:

roachpatrol:

samlikesboys:

All of the orgasms in fic are so violent. His orgasm came like a punch to the gut. It hit him like a mack truck. It knifed him in a fucking alley. What these orgasms need is a good education.

the orgasm tapped him on the shoulder politely because it wasn’t raised in a goddamn barn

By the time he came back to himself, the orgasm had washed the dishes, vacuumed the living room, and retrieved his lost house key from under the chaise lounge.

alesusknowles:

Me Being Born

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nathan fillion is way too good at playing the panicked-because-he-may-have-just-seen-his-daughters-blood-in-a-van

trustwurthy